The muddied lines between violence and sexual arousal within media in the U.S. expose a profoundly entrenched myth
The muddied lines between violence and sexual arousal within media in the U.S. expose a profoundly entrenched myth within American culture that not only distorts the essence of healthy relationships but also perpetuates a culture wherein violence is romantically normalized: the myth that violence is a surefire way to ignite sexual arousal.
Rihanna and Eminem's 2010 song and music video titled "Love the Way You Lie" serves as a poignant illustration of this issue, showcasing how media can blur the lines between love and harm, suggesting a misplaced romanticism in violent expressions (Lind, 2023, pg. 224). On a textual level, most of the lyrics in this track reflect this juxtaposition of violence with emotional rapture within the same statement. Visually, the actors in the music video are shown in an embrace that seamlessly cycles between acts of violence and acts of sexualized pleasure. Each of these statements, both auditory and visual, promote a false narrative to viewers that intimacy is attained at the cost of emotional and physical harm to oneself and one's partner.
If we examine the logic behind this myth more closely, it becomes clear that it is constructed on rhetorical fallacies lacking factual grounding
In works of media like Rihanna and Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie", the appeal to emotion fallacy is evident since the song and video play to our deepest fears, desires, and passions, bypassing rational judgment and critical thinking. This tactic, while powerful in its impact, misleads by equating the intensity of violence with the depth of emotional connection. This dangerous conflation sidesteps the need for mutual respect and understanding in relationships.
Similarly, the false cause fallacy - the mistaken belief that one event causes another simply because they are correlated — is also at play in this work of media. The depiction of violence and sexual arousal in close succession suggests a causal relationship between the two, a narrative that is not only misleading but harmful. This fallacy ignores the myriad factors contributing to a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship, reducing it to a simplistic and erroneous equation.
On a grander scale, this myth contributes to how media shapes our perceptions of sexual violence, suggesting that acts of domestic violence stem from desire rather than power dynamics and control.
Establishing a safe environment for open and vulnerable communication is fundamental to achieving intimacy
Photo Credit: Adobe Stock Education license
Media content that idealizes violence in romantic intimacy deflates the importance of establishing a safe environment for open and vulnerable communication between partners, which, according to the 30+ years of relationship research of the Gottman Institute, is fundamental to achieving intimacy (Wylie).
Addressing the cultural myth around violence and intimacy requires a conscientious effort to dismantle patriarchal structures and redefine our understanding of relationships, prioritizing consent and respect over misunderstood notions of passion. Through education and media literacy, there lies an opportunity to foster a culture that celebrates genuine connections, free from the shadows of violence and misconception.
References:
Lind, R. A. (2023). Race/gender/class/media: Considering diversity across audiences, content, and producers. Routledge.
Wylie, Beth. "Choose Love over Fear." The Gottman Institute, https://www.gottman.com
Being open and vulnerable creates the foundation for a healthy relationship., www.gottman.com/blog/choose-love-over-fear/. Accessed 3 Apr. 2024.
